Yes, the title to this blog applies to me....100% (even though it's the lyrics to a song I've been humming all day long) I seriously think something is wrong with me!! What. The. Crap. I wish I wouldn't have missed the memo on "how to do relationships!" The last one I had...well...whatever it was...seriously the guy was great. He treated me exactly like I've always "thought" I wanted to be treated. Nope, for some reason I felt smothered. Constantly. From the minute he labeled us. Why the hell do I hate labels so much?? They really freak me out. It wasn't because of anything he did. Just because I'm weird. And for no good reason, I end things. I have no doubt, however, that I made the right decision here. I've never really been one to look back. I embrace change all of the time (thank God). Maybe it's part of my "never being able to finish things" kind of life. My independence means so much to me. I hate feeling like people are expecting me to be somewhere, the feeling like I'm tied down to a particular place or thing. Maybe that's the reason I never make plans. I'm hoping one day, I'll just suddenly become normal and do normal things. I doubt it though. What the hell is the definition of "normal" anyways. Lets not kid ourselves...that little old cat lady with a million cats...me all the way ;)
I've been having yet ANOTHER recurring dream. It really sounds pretty ridiculous. I am sitting around with people who appear to be friends. We are all having a good time. Except they are all faceless. I don't recognize any of their voices in real life, so I couldn't tell you who they are. Anyways, we are all sitting around a table like my friend Jeff's table (you know, the big poker table, the one with all the football teams painted on the chairs...) playing poker and eating TONS of leftovers. Its like the land of leftovers in my kitchen. It really has no point, except for the fact I've had this dream now 3 nights in a row! It's getting pretty old.... it could atleast be an interesting dream everynight, like my "bridge" dreams awhile back! Atleast then I was doing a little something different in each dream!!
Looking back on this year, I'm really ready for 2009. I really feel like I've grown this year and just kinda ready for a whole new start. I know, sounds so cliche, but I'm really serious. Of course, I'm not making any kind of resolution. Those were meant to be broken, in my opinion....
Well little blog, that's about it for tonight. This really is a pointless blog, just something to write. I'm sitting next to my Christmas tree...I just love the smell of it :) It's so pretty....I decorated it in fleur de lis, blue and green ornaments.......
**Note** I apologize in advance if it looks as though I'm "following" your blogs twice. I had to delete this and re-do it. You would think my old name would have been deleted. *shrugs* Ok, now I'll stop babbling. Anyways.... Goodnight...
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